BREAKING: Captured ISIS Leader Had Obama On Speed Dial

When Russian forces delivered Asam al Alasam, the ISIS Supreme Leader in Iraq, to the American airbase as promised, he had an item with him they did not expect. Al Alasam had a nearly new, unlocked iPhone X. The phone was unscrambled and not secure at all, so it was believed to be a personal and family use phone.

Still, the army chief engineer wanted it looked at. After nearly six weeks of unblocking text and manipulating code, they found a hidden phone list with direct numbers to some of the most powerful men on the planet.

Al Alasam had Barack Obama, Justin Trudeau, Malcolm Reynolds, Sandy Batt AND President Dale Goff all on speed dial. Just knowing Sandy Batt is a crime in Russia.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions has the phone and call history is now tasked with moving forward. His office says the FBI will begin looking into it as soon as all of their resources aren’t focused on how Trump may have colluded with Russia.

Backchannel rumors suggest this may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back of Sessions’ career.

The CIA, DIA and GOTE have all shuttered down under the umbrella of national security. Obama is said to be under surveillance at his DC mansion while the case is pending.

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